Affairs at the Jupiter hotel

1. You’re just like Bruce Willis you were big in the 80s and now your old slot is being filled by Ashton Kutcher. Amy Schumer

Charlie Sheen

2. If you’re winning, this must not be a child custody hearing. The only time your kids get to see you is in reruns don’t you want to live to see their first 12 steps? Jeff Ross

3. Brooke Mueller is not very bright unless Charlie throws a lamp at her. Mike Tyson, your opponents spent more time bleeding in the corner than Charlie’s ex wives. Jeff Ross

5. Charlie still hasn’t hit rock bottom, he’s is looking forward to it though because he thinks there’s a rock there. Steve-O

7. It’s amazing, after abusing your lungs, liver and kidneys, the only thing you’ve had removed is your kids. Kate Walsh

I usually like this kind of humor, the highly-offensive shock value stuff, but for me and idk about anyone else, making fun of Michael J. Fox isn’t funny. Sorry guys, Marty Mcfly can’t be touched.

I think the Caylee Anthony one is more offensive than the Michael J. Fox. I love Michael J. Fox (as a fellow Canadian, I think I legally have to) but that joke was funny.

I don’t like this kind of humor, and you’re right making fun of Michael J. Fox is not cool. Dating myself here, but I miss the Dean Martin roasts. (Then again, I was a kid when they were on, and possibly most jokes went over my head and they were meaner than I remember.)

I went back and watched a few. Incredibly dated, and hokier than you prolly remember. Today’s maybe be more crude, but I doubt Dean’s were much funnier.

Meh a lot of these jokes seemed to make fun of others in the process .Like bringing in Bruce Willis, Brooke Mueller, Michael J. Fox, and Casey Anthony’s child. This was a CHARLIE SHEEN roast the jokes should have focused more on him and leave others out .that’s just my opinion though.

Ouch, a lot of the jokes were at other people’s expense. Steve-O nailed it best with 5 as it’s a jab poked solely at Sheen himself. They’re all funny, but some made me wince and that’s hard to do!

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We had about 150 turtles coming out of the bay this morning,” said Marsico. “They crossed the runway to a sandy beach area to lay their eggs.”

Jfk Turtles

The diamondback terrapin turtles were gathered on runway 4L, plus nearby taxiways, starting at about 6:45 a.m., NBC affiliate WNBC-TV in New York reports.

The turtle migration occurs annually at the airport, which is located near Jamaica Bay. The turtles typically head out of the bay to nest on the beach each summer. Marisco added that “staff has been out there since quarter to 7 this morning relocating them.

Allison Steinberg, a JetBlue spokeswoman, said the airline saw no significant delays. “All traffic was moved onto a different departure runway and we are seeing very little impact now.

Hey, do ya think they should waste taxpayers’ money and put a ‘turtle tunnel’ underneath that runway, just like that buffune in Florida wanted? HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Like all of nature…the TURTLES were here first, long before JFK’s runways were ever built! Is it possible that they penned an article back then when concrete was poured dissrupting their egg laying season?

Yes, indeed a clear conscience comes priceless. This compassion marks the cross roads where the turtle beats the rabbit, wins the hearts of the good and restores faith in our future.

I’ll venture some malicious, human hating crows had a hand, err,um, I mean wing in all this. Bet those who had the turtles do this are somewhere laughing their ass feathers off. Course now, it could have been some domestic branch of al-qaida too, or maybe a pack of welfare sucking illegals. We might ought to go, at least, to “yellow alert”.

You idiots amaze me. How the hell did you manage to pull this story down to your political mudslinging? You are no better than the monkeys that fling their crap at each other.

“Flights were temporarily halted at New York’s John F. Kennedy Airport on Wednesday morning after about 150 turtles ambled onto a runway.” … the turtle were said to be yelling “HELL NO WE WON’T GO!”, but nobody knows why…

I hope that the terrorist don’t read this article they might catch the turtles before they get on to the run way and strap bombs on them! But seriously you should fear the turtle Any college sports fan knows what I’m saying…

My only concern is were they properly screened by TSA agents before entering the active runway? If not, I say they should be promptly arrested and forced to submit to security procedures, including a full-shell patdown.

This was a humane and sane way of handling the situation, when I’ve experienced flight delays due to incompetence, computer glitches, or neglected aircraft maintenance. I’m glad the person on duty at the time who was in a position to make the decision on this is not an arrogagant human being, but rather one who understands that other species have a right to exist on this planet as well. Who is to say in whose space it is?

This is only part of the story . The trutles will have to cross back over the runway , after their yearly orgy and the laying of the eggs . Then the baby turtles will have to follow the same path . Did any body think to tag these turtles ? Then they’ll need to tag the babies . Next they’ll have to have J.F.K. Turtle Police . To ” Protect and Serve “. To make sure , no terrorist turtles enter the country , by the way of J.F.K. Did they body scan each and every one of them ? There might have been an underwear bomber among them . I shouldn’t have done that . By typing the words “underwear bomber ” . Now I’m on a F B I watch list . Have to report in every month , and not be able to get on a plane . I hate the thoughts of being checked for a underwear bomb . Those people put their finger in ice water , before making such test . Look for my picture at the Post Office . I’ll be the one , who looks like I’ve just got a prostate test , with an ice cold finger . See what I’ve done . Just to give you a chuckle . RON

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It has been reported that ‘Californication’ star David Duchovny and his wife of 14 years, actress Tea Leoni, have separated.I love reading this , So does My boyfriend .he is almost 11year older than me .i met him via agelessc’upid.c’om a nice place for seeking age le ss love.which gives you a chance to make your life better and open opportunities for you to meet the attractive young girls and treat you like a king. Maybe you wanna check it out or tell your friends..

Tea Leoni

I think when there is a split in the marriage it is really hard to get back to where it all started. I am not an avocate of divorce but 2nd split means it is time to maybe think about divorce. David is probably back to the same things he was doing before. Tea good luck, I know you will be strong for the kids.

Are you speaking from experience? Sorry but once anyone walks down the aisle, male or female, it is time to keep the zippers and legs closed to the outside. David has a major problem and I am surprise she did not dump him long ago.

Can someone be kind enough to tell me who they both are?From what i’ve read, she cheated on him while he has a sexual undisciplined addiction????if he’s an addict, why would she look for it elsewhere??I suggest they both be taken to rehab this time, one for his addiction and the other for her mental unwellness

You’ve hit the nail on the head… certain sexually repressed/frigid pretend that healthy people don’t satisfy their natural urges once they’re married, but that’s not how it works for fully functional sexual beings.

You’ve gotta love that “sex addiction” thing that these celebs use when they get caught. What a joke. Its like saying “yeah,I’m a man” LOL All men are “sex addicts” to some degree. But its a nice fake addiction to generate some cash and get a few dumb wives to stay around(for a while)

Sex addiction is NOT a fake addiction. It is a real one. I have known a man like that. Of course a man generally has a good sex drive. However, when a man uses sex for each and every emotion he feels no matter how the woman feels, all day and all night each and every day nonstop, then there is definitely a huge problem. He will push and push her until she either gives in or she belts him to the curb. Mine got belted to the curb.

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Notorious stuff-sayer Mel Gibson announced that his next film will tell the story of the legendary Jewish hero Judah Maccabee, which has already incited predictable backlash from members of the Jewish community who have functioning memories.

Mel Gibson

Skeptics will assuredly argue that Gibson’s film is a blatant attempt to pander to a Jewish populace that he’s offended numerous times in the past, but that actually couldn’t be further from the truth; it’s actually just one of many fanatically pro-Jewish, pro-tolerance projects that he was working on long before his public image was tarnished by his own public image.

1. No, No, I Realize The Romans Did It A revisiting of The Passion showing how the Romans coerced and manipulated the mob of freespending, totally-regular-size-nosed locals to turn against Christ.

2. Don’t Blow Me! A tale of gender equality in the modern workforce though if you ask this movie, it thinks women are smarter than men!

3. A Seriously Great Man Reboot of the 2009 Coen Brothers film A Serious Man , but without any bad parts. Mel Gibson co-stars and constantly high-fives the man.

4. The GREAT-triot The third installment in the Braveheart / The Patriot Trilogy where we learn that the English were just pretending to be cartoonishly evil to win a bet with North Korea, then they give all their winnings from that bet to the U.S., Scotland, and Ireland who they love.

5. Seriously, I Cried During Schindler’s List This film is just Schindler’s List in its entirety, but you keep hearing Mel Gibson sniffling and crying and saying I’m Mel Gibson doing this out loud during the sad parts.

6. Gel Mibson, Jewlover The story of Gel Mibson, a terribly misunderstood Hollywood A-Lister who attempts to bring antisemitism and misogyny into the public discourse through a series of elaborate performance art pieces, but the public misinterprets his numerous staged drunken rants as genuine racist outbursts. Then he’s like f*ck it and makes a movie about Judah Maccabee.

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The phrase smart lists shows up at the top of this new test feature appearing within the privacy settings and the area where you can post content for distribution in the news feed.

Facebook

Like the screenshot to the right illustrates, the test feature suggests that the user create lists of coworkers, classmates and people living nearby.

Encouraging people to create lists goes hand in hand with the recent relocation of the privacy settings to the area best known for inputting status updates and links.

Those of us who already have friend lists I have 16 of them have yet to see anything resembling a test of this nature. Perhaps if a feature goes live, it might suggest groupings of people that aren’t yet part of a list.

I haven& 039;t seen the ‘smart lists’ yet, but maybe it& 039;s because I already have friend lists too. They& 039;ve been a great way to categorize people much like some other service has been doing with those circles the techies have been fawning over.

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We found the looks you can’t stop talking about Emma Stone’s nude pumps! Keira Knightley’s cat-eye frames! Get the scoop on where to buy them and how to get the looks for less

Meredith Vieira

‘And I’ve always felt it diminished me and diminished him. It was being distorted, because it looked better to make it “Poor Meredith, she triumphs through it all”, and that wasn’t the case.

Meredith, I am going to miss having my cup of coffee with you every morning, I feel like your an old friend. You are so funny and so at ease and I love the way you interact with Matt and Al, those two are a handful and you can beat them at their game. (I love them too). Good luck to you in the next chapter in your life, and especially enjoy Cape Cod this summer, I love it there.

According to a key member of Papa Cyrus’ team, the country crooner and key player in his daughter’s superstar career ‘went ballistic’ when he heard about the doll featuring a Miley look-alike on the box’s cover, and a promotional tagline about the doll’s, uh, ‘anatomy’ that spoofs his famous ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ hit.

Sarah Jessica’s Bright Idea Plus, Gwyneth Paltrow, Marion Cotillard and Elizabeth Olsen. Rate today’s highs & lows!

Mel Gibson

Aside from reaching a custody agreement over the raising of their daughter, the good news here is that Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva can finally get on with their lives.

The Braveheart star and his ex-girlfriend turned up in Los Angeles County Superior Court today where their attorneys officially informed Judge Peter Lichtman that the two have settled their financial child custody issues.

Oksana will be allowed to live in Gibson’s Sherman Oaks, Calif., house until their nearly 2-year-old daughter, Lucia, turns 18. At that point, once she reaches that age, the home will be sold and proceeds will be put in a trust for Lucia.

The Oscar winner also agreed to pay his Russian baby mama $750,000 in three installments $250,000 after the releases have been signed, another $250,000 by September 2013 and a final installment by September, 2016.

Judge Lichtman lastly warned the parties not to do any publication regarding their tumultuous relationship be it a book, hiring a ghost writer to pen a book (or make a movie or an audio tape natch) or the settlement will be void.

But Grigorieva’s lawyer, Daniel Horowitz, did tell reporters that the pianist wanted to resolve the contentious matter for the sake of their daughter.

The musician’s co-counsel, Marvin Garvus, added he hopes in the future that “Mr. Gibson’s career moves on and so will . She has…another CD coming out soon. She is totally devoted as a mom.”

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To some, Disney is a magical kingdom filled with much loved characters and timeless stories. To me, Disney is a hateful place full of annoying animated mice and songs that make me want to murder kittens, so quite why I love the Kingdom Hearts series so much is a bit of a mystery.

Haley Joel Osment

Kingdom Hearts and its sequel, the imaginatively titled Kingdom Hearts II, were released on the PlayStation 2 to critical acclaim. Series producer Tetsuya Nomura took the cheery House Of Mouse and mashed it up with Final Fantasy; a mix that should not work but somehow does.

It’s like playing Where’s Wally after swallowing peyote.The main character in Kingdom Hearts, Sora, is joined on a quest by Donald Duck and Goofy. The gameplay is much like that of Final Fantasy, party members can excel in magic or combat, unleash special moves and can gain experience. The quest takes the fearsome trio through thirteen worlds, ten of which are based on Disney movies.

The cast for the series is huge and every major Disney character makes an appearence alongside Cloud, Cid, Wakka, Yuffie, Sephiroth, Squall Leonheart, Tiddus, Auron and even Moogles from the Final Fantasy series.

Square Enix and Disney lavished the games with some the best cut scenes you will ever see, helped by an impressive voice cast with many characters retaining their orginal actors. Billy Zane, David Boreanaz, Mandy Moore, Haley Joel Osment, Hayden Panettiere, Ming Na, James Woods, Mena Suvari and Zach Braff all appear.

I think I have enjoyed the series so much because it’s a little naughty’ with the Disney characters. In this day and age violence is frowned upon by the entertainment giant, so getting Donald Duck to beat someone up is subversive fun. I also enjoy the rather surreal nature of the game. How can you not love a series that, rather than summoning a vengeful god as your special move, allows you to call upon the awesome powers of Simba, the cute cub from the Lion King.

In the Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep Ultimania guide book, Nomura announced the third game, but production has yet to start as the team a busy working on Final Fantasy Versus XIII. Little has been seen on this mythical game and a release date has yet to be set.

Assuming a three year development for Kingdom Hearts III, even if Final Fantasy Versus XIII arrives in 2012 there is a very good chance that the PS3 and Xbox 360 may never see a Kingdom Hearts game.

Dig out your PS2 (or backwards compatible launch PS3) or pick up a bargain price PSP and Birth By Sleep. If you’ve never played a Kingdom Hearts game you are missing out.

I’d like to try this, in a sense to try and remove the dislike I have for both Final Fantasy and Disney. I think it will take quite some time to though

bought these in my recent ps2 game buying frenzy, havnt played them yet but they are near the top of my list. they where some of the most expensive ps2 games to get hold of as well, especially if you want non plat versions

Nice write-up Tuffcub, I had actually forgotten how much I loved these games. I blame that on the huge time since they released one on console, the handheld iterations are of no interest to me.

We shouldn’t discount the possibility of Squeenix doing a HD re-release. They would have to be incredibly stupid not to do this for both KH and Final Fantasy, they have so many studios I’m sure they can find one with nothing better to do.

I’d love HD remakes of these games. Never really gave them any attention even though I’m a huge Square Enix / Final Fantasy fan. My girlfriend loves Disney so this would be a perfect game for us to play together.

It works so well, it’s almost unbelivable and i bet that it didn’t sold more units just because people wouldn’t give it a try!(Disney chars and all ). Sure a few charactes can be annoying and such but it’s got a great story and the gameplay is sick

I was huge fan of the first 2 games and birth by sleep, never got round to playing the Ds and Gba versions but a Kingdom hearts 3 would be great, Just wish it would come out soon.

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Much has been said about Mel Gibson’s performance in The Beaver and how it might be an example of his artistic work channeling his personal life. In my eyes, Gibson’s off-screen antics should remain off screen, while his on-screen performance should be judged on its own merits. That said, The Beaver is an occasionally insightful look at how a family man faces severe bouts of depression. It works, but only to a degree.

Mel Gibson

Gibson plays Walter Black, a successful executive at a toy company who has a problem connecting with his wife, Meredith (Jodie Foster), and his sons, Porter (Anton Yelchin) and Henry (Riley Thomas Stewart). When he can’t stand the depression any longer, Walter does something that at first seems foolish, and then eventually is taken seriously: He comes home with a beaver puppet on his arm and proceeds to talk in a fake Australian accent as the person in charge of Walter’s body.

Everyone laughs when first seeing the beaver, but eventually the characters realize that this man is seriously sick and incapable of dropping the act. At the toy company, his co-workers can’t believe the development, thinking it’s a strange motivation technique. Cherry Jones plays the vice president working for Walter, and she needs to step in when the big boss loses his marbles.

At home, Meredith is flabergasted at her husband’s sickness, and Porter is embarassed and angry that one day he may become just like his father. To let out his frustration, Porter violently bangs his head against the bedroom wall, eventually breaking through the wood to the outside wall. The teenager’s only solace is when he gains the attention of the good-looking high school valedictorian played by Jennifer Lawrence.

The Beaver, directed by Foster and written by Kyle Killen, can’t quite achieve a consistent tempo. At times, it feels like we should laugh at Walter and the beaver, while at other times we feel like crying. Gibson offers a few powerful moments, but is also unable to offer a full characterization. Walter remains as much a mystery at the end of the film as he does at the beginning. This is likely the fault of both actor and screenwriter.

The Beaver is the type of movie that one appreciates for its daring plot, but can’t quite recommend. At 91 minutes, it feels more like a preliminary sketch than a well constructed feature. Still, one hopes it works as some type of first step toward redemption for Gibson, an important filmmaker and not-too-shabby actor who has largely been missing from the silver screen.

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And the couple looked like they were having a great time, holding hands while strolling through the attractions. More… Minnie Driver shares a beach kiss with new toyboy (who once locked lips with Britney Spears) What a difference four years makes: Britney Spears gets her sparkle back as she returns to scene of THAT awful MTV performance The Bulge Identity: As Matt Damon piles on the pounds, is there a new movie role in the pipeline?

David Duchovny

Looking casual in a black long sleeved top, jeans and orange trainers, Minnie carried her growing little boy on her hip, while Matthew walked alongside.

He has had rumoured dalliances with Halle Berry, Selma Blair, Jennifer Aniston and Kate Winslet over the years, while Minnie has been linked with John Cusack and Matt Damon in the past.

When quizzed about the father’s identity by Jay Leno before the birth in September 2008, she said: ‘I figure, I’m the public person, and he can stay private.’

Minnie has two films coming out later this year, Goats, with Keri Russell, Vera Farmiga and David Duchovny, and Hunky Dory, in which she appears alongside a cast of relative unknowns.

Aww, why is it that when a man is younger he is a “boy toy”? No one would bat an eye at a man 10 yrs older than a woman, and Minnie isn’t even old enough to be his mother. And even if she were, why the labels?? Who cares, as long as they’re happy, they are both adults!

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